Another New Year
by thinkitover
Summary: Conner is going to spend New Year's alone, again. Or...is he...?


I sit on my tree branch, all alone again this year. I sigh, watching the fireworks exploding in the sky. Monty is running around the yard, howling whenever a firework explodes. I take another sip of the bottle in my hand. After all, I only have nine bottles of cream soda left and I'm not allowed to drink beer. As another firework explodes, I turn on my phone.

 _(11:37) Happy New Year Conner! Sorry I couldn't make it again this year. ~ Louie_

 _(11:39) Happy New Year, Uncle Conner. I'm sorry, but I have to take care of the twins. I'll try to make it next year. ~ Richmond_

 _(11:40) Happy New Year! We'll send you cake to make up for not coming, Uncle CO. ~ Chase & Charles_

 _(11:40) Dad told me to tell you Happy New Year, and I guess it is only polite. ~ DC_

 _(11:43) You can't drink any alcohol. ~ A_

I sigh at all the texts declaring that they couldn't come. I'm especially disappointed with Alfred's text, he's supposed to be there for me. Always, no matter what. My phone buzzes again.

 _(11:52) Bonne année, Conner! I hope you and your friends are having a good New Year. ~ France_

I smile sadly at that. Ha, none of my friends are here for me tonight. Not one. My phone buzzes again.

 _(11:53) Hallo, Katze! Frohes neues Jahr. The awesome me did some research on time-zones and figured that you're nearing the new year. I know, I did research. Oh well. Have a happy new year. ~ Prussia_

I laugh at the text. At least he cheered me up. I snap a small stick off the branch I'm sitting on, and I whistle to catch Monty's attention. He looks up and barks. I throw the stick to him and he jumps, catching it in midair. He plays with the stick for a few minutes before growing bored. My phone buzzes again.

 _(11:57) Look up._

This time, the text is from an unknown number. I look at the sky, confusion on my face. I see a single firework shoot into the sky. It disappears for a short while, then it explodes. A series of red, white and blue explode. Then I get another text from the same number.

 _(11:58) Oops. Sorry, wrong number._

My heart sinks, making me slouch on the branch. I sigh. "Come on, Monty. Let's go inside," I say, climbing down. Monty barks, loping up to me. I lean down to pet him on the head, when I see something in his collar. I crouch in front of Monty.

"Hey, Monty, sit will you?" I ask. Monty obliges, tongue lolling out of his mouth. I take out the thin white cylinder. I unroll the paper. On it is one sentence.

 ** _Go to your room._**

I frown, then shrug. I walk into the house, walking up the stairs and down the hall to my room. I walk in and turn on the lights. On my bed is a belt, a pair of jeans and a shirt. I stop, looking at the articles of clothing in confusion. _Who would even put those on my bed?_ I ask myself. I hear a groan on the other side of my bed. I walk over cautiously, ready to shout at whoever it is. When I see who it is, I just stare at him for a moment.

"Ugh…. Why do I have such a horrible headache?" Richmond asks, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. I double over in laughter. Richmond stares at me, completely confused. He looks down, realizing he's only in his boxers and socks. Someone drew a very thick unibrow on his forehead, a Hitler mustache on his upper lip and drew a face on his stomach. His legs are adorned with curse words in ten different languages.

"Oh…oh my god. You…you look completely ridiculous!" I say, literally crying because I'm laughing so hard. Richmond blushes and stands up, looking down in shock. I help him pull on his clothes, snickering. I refuse to help him put on his belt so he has to do that himself. After that, I take a washcloth and try to scrub the unibrow and mustache off. "Hmm. Whoever did this, drew these in sharpie. You're screwed for a while," I tell him. He groans and flops back onto the bed. I pull him to his feet. As I pull him up, I notice a piece of paper under my pillow. I pull it out. Another sentence.

 ** _Go to the kitchen._**

Richmond and I glance at each other. I shrug, leading the way. Down the stairs, to the right, to the left, enter the kitchen. I stare at the two figures tied to chairs. They're just waking up and their clothes are tied around the fridge. The Carolinas shoot each other confused looks.

"Why are we here? Wait…where are our clothes?!" they shout in horror. Their faces have each other's human names in elegant script across their cheeks. Their chests have targets drawn on them and their legs are decorated in game pieces, drawn on.

Richmond and I bust out laughing. I grin at the Carolinas' who are extremely confused and a bit embarrassed that they're in only their boxers and socks, but they've run through the streets butt-nekked. I remember and really wish I didn't.

"Ha! You guys are in checkmate! Ha!" Richmond crows. I stumble over to them, chuckling. I untie them and they run to the fridge, untying their clothes and exchanging them. Soon, they're fully dressed and have a light dusting of red on their cheeks.

"Jerk. Thanks Uncle Conner," one of them mumbles. The other nods in agreement. As I turn, I see a piece of paper tied to the leg of the chair with a thin piece of string. I crouch and take the piece of paper off the chair leg. I unroll it to find another sentence.

 ** _Go to the library._**

 ****I shrug, leading the way again. Thankfully, it's only across the hall. We walk in to find someone else splayed out on the table. Everyone bursts out laughing after I translate what is written on Louie's face, chest, stomach and legs. Basically it says 'sweet little cherished boy', 'little goddamn devil' and other variations with a lot more curse words, 'whore' occasionally replacing 'boy'. Louie, blinks slowly and groggily. He sits up rubbing his head.

"Ugh…have I been drugged? Or have I been drinking…?" he mumbles. I toss him his shirt and pants, which I had found on a nearby chair.

"Just put these on and don't read what's written on your body," I advise him. He glances at me, and proceeds to read something on his leg. He blushes madly and starts muttering French and Spanish profanities. He pulls on his clothes while I search for another piece of paper.

"Hey, why's a piece of rolled up paper in my pocket?" Louie asks, pulling out what I was looking for. I snatch it from him and unroll it.

 ** _Go to Alfred's room._**

 ****We all charge upstairs and into the room across from mine. We find Alfred snoring peacefully in absolutely nothing. Someone wrote on his ass, ' _Dis is MINE'_ in black sharpie. Every part of his body is labeled as _'MINE'._ I push every one out and punch Alfred awake. He sits up and rubs his eyes sleepily. I hand him a pair of boxers. He looks down and blushes. He grabs a shirt and pants then runs into the bathroom attached to his room. He comes out a minute later fully dressed.

"Never. Mention. That. Ever," he grits. I grin and nod. He holds out his hand, palm down. I look down to find a sentence without the word MINE in it.

 ** _Go to Alfred's office._**

 ****Alfred and I walk into the hall, Alfred's face lightening to a pink. The states shoot a glance at us and I can tell they are trying not to laugh. I motion everyone towards Alfred's study. We walk in, only to find DC curled up in Alfred's chair without a shirt on. He's already awake, looking around in confusion. He looks at his hand, which is holding something, then at us. He tilts his head and stands up. He picks his shirt up off the floor and pulls it on, walking towards us. He presses the paper into my hands. I unroll it, glancing at him. He doesn't say anything just reads over my shoulder.

 ** _Go to the basement~!_**

I feel a little suspicious of this one, just because of what the ending is. DC just turns around walks downstairs. We all glance at one another, then race out the door after him. We meet him at the top of the basement stairs. He nods and walks down them. We follow him. At the bottom of the stairs, I turn on the light.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR, CONNER!" two people shout, leaping up. I blink, a little surprised. But then, I see Prussia and France grinning at me. I grin back, and stifle a chuckle.

"How'd you two know I was going to do all that stuff?" I ask, walking towards them. They both hug me, and I hug them back.

"We didn't We just took a risk," Prussia says, smirking. I shake my head laughing. "Plus it was fun writing on these guys. And sending those fake texts," he adds. I slowly figure out their (admittedly a little complex) plan. I shake my head, chuckling.

"You two are jackasses," I inform them, laughing my ass off by now. They nod, smiling.

"We know!"


End file.
